It has been 18 days now. My Brother was found dead in his home. My sadness is causing me to scrunch down in despair. I have been back home from a trip I was on during my loss for almost a week. I cannot shake it. I thought I would be ok and I would jump into some projects I have been planning. I haven't. I want to but I just cannot lift my self up. I will eventually. I know it but not today. I have great ideas. Maybe next week. My kitchen is a scary science experience at best and I need to get control of it. I need to sew, crochet and knit.
Losing my brother struck me like the song saying: The day the music died. I know the title but that phrase makes me think of him. He was a genius at knowing not only who was singing, but also the words and album. He was a music freak and loved so many genres that I doubt he could choose just one, unless it be the Beatles. He loved them and I bet had all of their music. My big and only brother. Why did he have to leave us so soon?? I wasn't ready. We were best friends growing up and he knew how much I loved him and I know how much he loved me. He recently turned 55. He was getting to know Christ and the teachings again. We were baptized at the same time. He was a scrabble king. He had a photographic memory and could remember phone numbers like no other. He could also type 120 wpm when he was tested back in school. All of our common teachers adored him. I just disappointed them. It was ok. It was my brother. God I miss him and my heart is broken.
Rest in Peace James Richard Fortune. Our "Ricky". I love and adore you.
